i did it. i deactivated my facebook page.
this is something that i said i would never do, and secretly (but not really) ridiculed people who did.
i was never convinced by the phrase 'never say never' - especially when sleezy guys would said it after i rejected them - but i have realized that i too, can change my mind. for the first time, this phrase is sinking in, and i am letting it. i guess i used to think there was something ungodly by saying it (do not ask why, because i have no idea where i get this stuff from), but i'm learning that it's ok to go back on your word. it's ok to feel that facebook is an integral part of your social life, and to be slightly obsessed with putting pictures of everything you do there. but it is also ok say: no. i'm done. facebook is slowly but surely draining the happiness from my life, and i need a break.
so there. i did it.
and...i'm a little sad about it. it does feel empty.
the days leading up to the deactivation, when it became a reality (because i publicly announced it was happening), i was looking forward to it with glee, becoming more and more sure every time i scrolled down the news feed. the moment the deed was done i felt a great sense of relief.
but then. i got sad. i love my friends and family, and i love seeing their pictures, and sharing links etc. with them. and i like being able to check in on the people i don't talk to very often. i also appreciate the convenient outlet that facebook is to update everyone on my own life.
am i excluding myself from the life of my family and friends?
this facebook break is something i have thought about for months. and i was planning on starting it at the beginning of the summer, but kept putting it off for various reasons (i need to wait until after my birthday, i need to put the pictures from india up before i leave). however, when i saw this video on buzzfeed, i knew it was time.
and although it's a little sad, i know it is the right thing for me to do right now.
my reasons, in list form:
wasting too much time on fb
fear of fb addiction (but not really...i was never that bad)
fed up with being bombarded with everyone's political opinions
overwhelmed by the unnecessary, boring, and, quite frankly, shockingly personal things people post
scrolling down and seeing everyone's happy lives and accomplishments fed my insecurities and unhappiness
feeling a need to disconnect and experience real life, as opposed to a virtual one
there you have it. i'm glad i did it. and, look! i'm already blogging! this is good.
i'm not trying to disappear or hide. i'm still going to be active on social media, such as twitter and instagram. but facebook was not working for me, so i did something about it. and i'm glad. i feel free.
ok.
peace out. for now.
