about love.

there is this song. that perfectly describes my feelings about love. i have mentioned india.arie before. and she puts it just right in 'ready for love':

i am ready for love

why are you hiding from me

i'd quickly give my freedom

to be held in your captivity

i am ready for love

all of the joy and the pain

and all the time that it takes

just to stay in your good grace

lately i've been thinking

maybe you're not ready for me

may you think i need to learn maturity

they say watch what you ask for

cause you might receive

but if you ask me tomorrow

i'll say the same thing

i am ready for love

would you please lend me your ear

i promise i won't complain

i just need you to acknowledge i am here

if you give me half a chance

i'll prove this to you

i will be patient, kind, faithful, and true

to a man who loves music

a man who loves art

respects the spirit world

and thinks with his heart

i am ready for love

if you'll take me in your hands

i will learn what you teach

and do the best that i can

i am ready for love

here with an offering of

my voice

my eyes

my soul

my mind

tell me what is enough

to prove i am ready for love

i am ready

and i am. always have been, really. but now, truly ready. i experienced a tiny breaking of my heart earlier this evening. my soul hurt. from loneliness and longing.

lately i have been craving companionship. of any kind, really. but mostly the romantic kind. the forever kind. i dream of someone to cry with. someone who will laugh at my awesome moves when i dancercise. someone to cook for. someone to go grocery shopping with. someone who wants to hear my stories from when i was an exchange student. someone who will look at me from across the room and be proud to be mine.

i yearn for a pair of strong man-hands to grab my waist; someone to pull me close, and kiss me tenderly. just because he loves me so.

i long for a partner. someone to share with. someone to learn from. to teach. someone to grow with. someone to love.

i can't decide if i want to be loved, or to love, the most. maybe it's equal. or maybe i want one more than the other some days.

this desire can't be quenched. nor should it. i have concluded that the deep-seeded need to share of your whole self with someone - intimately - is god-given. and it's real. we're not meant to be alone. [genesis 2:18]

i am not meant to be alone.

i am ready for love. why are you hiding from me?